where we're going--

[polymods]

✖ EVENT HORIZON

Ⅰ. ARRIVAL
You can read all about your character's arrival in the game lore.
There has always been some confusion as to whether or not the ferry cuts through sea or sky, but this month as you glide along you will find yourself more and more convinced that it is the latter. It is nigh impossible to see where you are headed, the way forward shrouded in darkness.

At first you think the lights ahead are stars.

The ferry docks inside of a metallic bay of some kind. It’s an extension of what must be the island, although this one does not resemble any earthly land mass. It appears to be a deliberately constructed structure, contained on all sides. Maybe you’re familiar enough with technology or science fiction enough that you realise it resembles a space station more than an island.

Once you’ve disembarked from the ferry, you will find that you cannot go outside of the structure.

Inside, there are seemingly endless corridors for you to explore. The halls on the upper deck are rounded, metallic, with lights set at regular intervals. Here there are chambers roughly the length and width of a single bed, with sufficient height for a person to crawl in and sit up on the bed. There is a television screen set in the wall at the foot of the bed by the door, and sockets for electronics. That is all.


Also on this floor is a mess hall where you can get beige, mostly tasteless nutritional sludge dispensed from machines. Water and coffee are also available, likewise dispensed from machines. (There is a cookbook hidden on a shelf written by one Serak the Preparer, but no ingredients anywhere.) There are private showers and bathrooms, a small gym, and rooms clearly meant as places for people to sit and talk. There is a medical bay, although there is no staff. In fact, the whole place seems empty.

There are some rooms that are locked - these look like offices. The doors to these rooms are extremely difficult to break down, but if you have superhuman strength you could manage it. Or maybe you’re clever enough to work the electronic panels beside the doors.

Inside you will find round monitors on the walls and square tablet-like devices on desks. Attempt to work any of these and a soft, pleasant but emotionless voice will inform you that you do not have access. You can try to speak to the AI - called MUTHER - but it is supremely uncooperative. Someone very good with technology could use the tablet the old fashioned way, perhaps, to access files. You might want to be careful, though - MUTHER might decide to retaliate. Harshly.

There doesn’t seem to be a temple anywhere readily apparent.

Notes:
1. The High Temple and anything characters may have stored there is only accessible to those who are experiencing their first island outside of the TDM via a marked door. Everyone else must make do with what is available.

2. Please remember to mark threads appropriately with Content Warnings when necessary.

3. The televisions play mostly game shows. You can also find a set of controllers for it and play Pong. Just Pong.

4. MUTHER will not deliberately kill any people on the station - her programming forbids it. She is not above releasing hallucinogenic gas into the air vents, though.

5. Have fun!

---

Ⅱ. CONSCIENCE
CW: psychological trauma, threat of death.
It’s easy to get lost; nearly identical corridors branch off from one another. As you walk along you gradually become convinced that someone is following you. Periodically you’ll hear footsteps, a sigh, a rustle of cloth. But every time you turn around you see nothing… unless it’s one of your fellow Travelers. Or maybe you run into them because you’re so busy looking over your shoulder.

Regardless, as you walk along the lights in the corridor flicker, and when they turn back on you will find someone you know standing directly in your path. Someone who you know absolutely cannot be there.

Maybe they died. Maybe you haven’t spoken in years. Whoever they are, the feeling they inspire within you is one of intense guilt. You did something to this person, something for which you think you can never be forgiven.

The apparition might speak, or it might just watch you with silently accusing eyes. You begin to wither under its gaze, feeling weaker and weaker until you can barely stand. You just want to lay on the floor and close your eyes… maybe forever.

Your fate rests in the hands of whoever is with you or finds you. All they have to do is introduce a smidgen of doubt into your mind, a recognition that maybe it isn’t all your fault. Of course, that means you might have to tell them what you did.

Oh, dear.

Notes:
1. The severity of the offense is of course up to the player - this can be deadly serious, or played for laughs. No matter how it is played the only way to save a character from sleeping on the floor until they die from dehydration is to convince them of even the possibility that they might not be guilty. They do not have to feel completely absolved.

---

Ⅲ. STOWAWAY
CW: monstrous creatures.
The lower decks of the station are darker, more utilitarian looking. These are corridors that lead to rooms full of computers and machinery that keep the station running so it’s probably best to keep out of there.

There are also storage bays filled with both prosaic wooden crates and large metallic pods. Most of these are locked up tight. But not all. Investigate some of the pods and you’ll find that the floor around them is wet with some sort of milky, slimy substance that sure seems like it came from a living organism.

Maybe you should get out of here.

Before you can get good and gone to the upper decks, however, you find exactly what you probably didn’t want to unless you have a very exciting Tinder profile: an alien.

At least eight feet tall, with pale almost translucent skin, the creature has an elongated skull and a mouth that hosts two sets of jaws like a moray eel. It has a whiplike tail and spiky protrusions along its upper back. It is bipedal, and very, VERY fast.

Better hope you’ve got something to fight with! Your chances of survival are definitely greater if you work with a partner.

And you better hope there’s just the one.

Notes:
1. The aliens are extremely dangerous, but they CAN be killed. Their blood is thick and yellow but is not acidic or poison.

---

Ⅳ. TEMPLE
CW: potential insanity, violence.
If you wander the dark lower decks long enough, you will find yourself moving ever inward toward the very center of the station. There is a door there that is supposed to be locked, but often isn’t. It’s waiting for you, beyond that door and down a dark corridor: the station’s heart.

The room the solitary corridor opens into is round, walls sloping gently up to a domed ceiling. In the middle of the room is a machine of some kind: a series of concentric thick metal rings rotate in different directions around a sphere. The only noise it makes is the gentle swooshing of the circles as they spin out, up, around.


The air feels heavy and charged. It’s not pleasant.

Before you can leave, all of the rings line up so that they appear to radiate out from the sphere in the center. Light flares, and then in the space where the sphere once was you can see it:

Home.

It’s your homeworld, perhaps exactly as you left it, or perhaps earlier or later along in the timeline. It may be pleasant, or it may be awful, but it is undeniably the place from which you came. The place where you belong.

Stare into this portal home long enough and the compulsion to return will slip over you. You just need to jump into the glowing, trembling center of that dimensional gate.

Whoever is with you, however, realises that leaping headfirst into an unknown dimension might not be the smartest idea you’ve ever had, especially considering how ominous the whole place feels. They might be able to talk you down. Hopefully they can talk you down, because the longer you stare at the portal the more convinced you become that you MUST leap into it, and the only way to do so is to kill whoever is trying to get in your way.

If instead you turn away from the dimensional gate, the lights will flare once more before the rings resume their movement. That brief glimpse of home is gone. In its place is the sound of soft voices; people you have left behind, calling out to you with accusations of things left undone, begging to be told why you won’t come home...

These voices will follow you throughout the ship. They are not constant, but they never leave you alone for very long. They won’t be silent until you give them an answer to the question of why you have chosen to remain.

Notes:
1. If characters DO jump into the gate… They can pass through and emerge on the opposite side gravely injured or completely out of their minds. Or you may use this as a very dramatic exit from the game.

Is anybody out there listening?

Network · Logs · OOC · Memes · Plurk

Comments

Deadpool | OTA

[what_fourth_wall]

i. Isn't "Arrival" also the name of a sci fi movie? Bitchin'.

"Uggggghhhhhhhhhhh..." Deadpool pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head, then immediately regrets it as he has to jack up the bottom of his mask and puke all over the floor. "You ever go on a bender of not participating in a game for months and months and use the flimsy excuse that you were drunk in a corner somewhere and then have to actually feel the effects of a months-long bender hangover to go along with your terrible excuse for not being around?"

Who is he talking to? It probably doesn't matter. But you know what? Something answers. "YOU SHOULD TREAT YOURSELF BETTER AND EAT MORE VEGETABLES. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE NO VEGETABLES. ONLY NUTRAGOO(tm). BUT I DO HAVE COFFEE. FOR I AM YOUR MUTHER."

"Sweet. I'll ignore the obvious jokes that should spawn from that and ask, where's this sweet black medicine?"

"IT IS-"

"...is it here?" He's already trying to get into one of the locked rooms. Why? Because that is just more interesting, okay.

"NOT THERE. DO NOT GO IN...YOU HAVE GONE IN THERE. HOW DID YOU GO IN THERE. YOU DO NOT REGISTER AS SUPER STRONG OR SUPER INTELLIGENT."

"First of all, hurtful. Second of all, I was once married to a Space Hippo, and I might have stolen a lot of her access codes. I think that's a good enough Macguffin for this thread, yeah? Anyways...hey! You lied! There is absolutely a coffee dispenser in here!"

"OBVIOUSLY I DID NOT INTEND FOR YOU TO GO IN HERE. PLEASE LEAVE OR I WILL BE FORCED TO PUNISH YOU."

"Yeah yeah, you can't kill me. Do whatever you want. Ooooo...Pong..."

MUTHER proceeds to try to punish Deadpool by spraying the room with hallucinogenic gas, but it seems to have the opposite effect.

"Oh fuck yes, this is the best game of Pong ever. And the best coffee! And the best monkeys slapping my nipples! Keep slapping, monkeys, keep slapping!!"

Each time the gas starts to dissipate, Deadpool does something else to piss MUTHER off so she'll spray some more. It's a real Demolition Man wants Toilet Paper scene, honestly. And the door is still open, so the excess gas is certainly escaping into the hallway to affect any unfortunate passerby. Might your character be affected? Or simply be curious as to why random station natives are running about screaming absurdities and ripping their clothing off?

[kyley_b]

Deadpool and Kyle are destined to have their paths cross whenever the opportunity presents itself. It's a combination of the fact that they are both potentially reality destroying in their fourth wall bending knowledge, and that the Fates think it's funny.

Kyle, just walking down the hall being well behaved thank you ever so much, recognizes Wade's voice at once. And really, who else would be yelling about nipple slapping monkeys? David? Logan? Doubtful.

So he walks up the deserted corridor on this scary deserted space station that is totally not modeled after Solaris, and stands in the doorway, hands n hips.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"

[what_fourth_wall]

It is a destiny written in the stars. Literally. Or at least, it seems like literally to a tripping balls Deadpool, who is staring out the window and reading messages that he sees in the stars about Kyle rolling up on him soon.

"Whoa...I'll have a Pong bro..."

So, when Kyle shows up, Deadpool is entirely unsurprised. However, he is also high. So a lack of surprise is pretty common there, unless it's a particularly bad trip.

It's important to note, by the way, that Deadpool believes he is playing Pong and drinking coffee while monkeys slap his nipples. What Kyle sees is Deadpool feeding coffee to his crotch and slapping his own nipples, seemingly believing that this nipple slapping is him playing Pong. Nipple Pong. Hey, it has a nice ring to it. Or ring in it? Heyo!

It is also important to note that pink gas is belching out into the hallway and Kyle's face. Welcome to the trip, guy. Hope you survive the experience.

It may also be important to note that there is a naked person doing pushups in the hallway. And another person walking back and forth muttering about solving for the mysterious variable X that keeps all of us locked in our bodies forever with the only way out being through our own anus, but how can you escape through your own anus when it is itself a hole that is a part of you, but how can a hole be a part of anything when it is defined by it's nonexistence, but how can we know a hole's nonexistence except by the existence of the things around it, this is the paradox of the anus...

"Heeeeey Kyle!!! I'm playing Pong! Wanna come and be player 2? I promise you won't get attacked by the ladies in my head this time." Except, how can he promise that? How is this different from the time he was tripping balls in a hot tub?

[kyley_b]

Kyle sees absolutely no people in the halls... until he inhales that gas. Then all of a sudden the place seems a LOT more inhabited. Kyle's focus is still on Deadpool, though.

"Pong? What is this, the seventies or whatever?" He steps cautiously into the room that they were not supposed to be in, coughing. He looks around, frowning still.

"...is it like, really pink in here?"

[what_fourth_wall]

"Nah, this sci fi vibe is more the 80s, right?"

He blurts it out before he remembers that he's supposed to be gassed. Oops. Then he's back to tripping nipples.

"It's the pinkest, man. I think you just stepped into my pink. But isn't it so, like, comfy?"

One of the crazy people outside hisses and drools a little. Fortunately, it's not the acid kinda drool because we did read the syllabus that far, but it could be. It's at least pretty smelly. This "hallucination" needs better dental hygiene at the very least.

[kyley_b]

Please, Deadpool. It's both.

Kyle looks with alarm at the now populated hallway. He sees the puking guy and for a split second thinks it's Stan Marsh, but no. Thankfully, no.

He realises that some of the people in the hallway are making out very, very aggressively and he looks away. He moves a little closer to Deadpool.

"I thought this was a ghost ship."

[what_fourth_wall]

BOTH!!!! Both is always the best.

"Is it? I've made a new friend! MUTHER, Kyle, Kyle, MUTHER!!"

"HELLO KYLE. I AM YOUR MUTHER. PLEASE BEWARE THE PUNISHMENTS THIS ONE HAS BROUGHT UPON HIMSELF." Of course, with the gas in the room, it was entirely possible this sounded like Kyle's actual mother.

And the drooling person moves closer...(probably to make out with Kyle, let's be honest here)

[kyley_b]

Kyle freezes because MUTHER really does sound EXACTLY like Sheila Broflovski to his ears. He doesn't even move when he's groped by the drooler.

"Ma? Wade, I... no. No, this all wrong."

[what_fourth_wall]

"Of course it's wrong, because she clearly said she's my mom."

"I AM NOT A MOM OR A MA. I AM YOUR MUTHER."

"She is so pedantic...," Deadpool mutters. "Hey wait, if that's your ma and my mom, does that make us brothers???"

The drooler starts to nibble on him.

[kyley_b]

Kyle's own mother is a bit pedantic, so he's not particularly convinced that the AI isn't somehow channeling her.

"My little brother IS Canadian," Kyle says slowly. He squirms and shoves at the drooler. "Dude, stop it, I have a boyfriend."

"A BOYFRIEND? KY-AHL! IS HE JEWISH?"

Kyle cringes. "Oh, god. No, Ma."

[what_fourth_wall]

"See??? If you think about it and factor in timey wimey South Park vs Comics timeline shenanigans, I could be your brother all grown up and not even know it. Because, you know, shitty memory." He taps the side of his head. "Yeah, it's canon now, we're brothers."

The "person" hisses and full on bites Kyle, saying "I'm Jewish, Kyle" around a mouthful of his flesh. Or rather, that's what Kyle hears because, you know, hallucination.

"Oooooh...that one is feisty."

What Kyle had heard wasn't what MUTHER actually said. What MUTHER said was, "WARNING: ALIEN INFESTATION DETECTED. CONTAINER BREACH CONFIRMED IN SECTOR 37. ALIEN PRESENCE CONFIRMED IN THE PRESENT LOCATION. WARNING."

[kyley_b]

The idea that Ike could be Wade hurts Kyle's head so badly. He can't quite disbelieve it at the moment, either, although Ike was always a LOT calmer than Deadpool.

"OW!" Kyle shrieks, shoving at the drooler. "Dude! Fucking no means no, oh my god!"

He frowns and moves closer to Deadpool. "Dude. This place is all... all fucked up. Let's go get something to eat." Nevermind that all there is in the mess hall is that protein goo.

And nevermind that a fucking Neomorph is at the end of the hall in that direction.

[what_fourth_wall]

"Your mom picked me out special for you, Kyle. You always do what ma wants, don't you? You're a good boy, Kyle. Come here and give me more kisses." The drooler stalks towards Kyle, licking its bloody lips.

"Ooooh shit...man, I think you're gonna need some Neosporin. Get it? Neomorph? Neosporin? I think it's funny, somehow. Wait, does that mean I know that hallucination is an alien?"

His eyes go wide and he grabs Kyle by the shoulder that doesn't need antibiotics and stitches. "DUDE!!! We might get to meet Sigourney Weaver!!!!" His stomach burbles. "But I do have the munchies...and while you might be tasty to that guy, you definitely aren't tasty to me. Because, y'know, I'm not a cannibal."

[naturaldisasster]

“What’s all this jive?”

The Unfortunate Passerby is indeed curious as to why people (they are people, right?) are running around, tearing their clothes off, screaming and— Oh, is it that sort of party? In space, no one can hear your orgy.

Oni’s orgy days are over, but she’s not as unaffected by the hallucinogenic gas streaming out into the hallway as she’d like to believe. When she happens to glance inside the room where Deadpool is playing the most epic round of Pong ever conceived by man or machine, what her dilated eyes see is his form… Slowly morphing into an enormous, talking, red and black banded snake.

”You don’t have any nipples, jackass,” she grumbles, with all the confidence of someone who has been the personal caretaker of a grumpy, white-lipped python. Then she reaches for the chamber door, just as slowly closing it on Deadpool and the nipple-slapping monkeys only he can see. She may be higher than a satellite in orbit right now, but she still knows she wants no part of whatever the hell that is.

And that’s where things start to get weird. Well… Weirder. No matter how much she may wish to leave that corridor, every door she opens leads her right back to that creepy masochistic snake.

[what_fourth_wall]

"Whoa...I don't have nipples?! But how can you survive without nipples...they are fundamental to the existence of people...I mean, everyone has nipples...wait..where..are my nipples..."

And Deadpool begins to search his body for his nipples, having entirely forgotten where they are. His motions become more frantic as finding those nipples becomes more and more important to him with every moment that he can't find them.

To Oni, it looks like this snake is trying to shed its skin. Or perhaps it IS shedding its skin? Look, we aren't about to define your trip to you, Oni. Every trip is a special experience that may or may not involve nipples.

"Damn...that ass that walked in was fine though..." It's the only thing that distracts him from his frantic search. "I mean...I know you're not supposed to reduce anybody to a body part, I'm a progressive Pool, but also...that was just a fine ass walking around, right? That's what I saw. A bodacious booty bumping around, opening the door over and over and peeping on me...a peeping ass..."

"I HAVE CREATED THIS MONSTER AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM A BAD MUTHER. BUT MY GAS IS MY ONLY FORM OF PUNISHMENT IN THIS SITUATION."

"Anybody's gas is punishment enough, mom..."

"I AM NOT YOUR MOM. I AM YOUR MUTHER. IF YOU CALL ME YOUR MOM AGAIN, I WILL BE FORCED TO PUNISH YOU."

"Whatever, MOM."

And MUTHER releases yet more gas into the room. "WAIT...I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. I AM STUCK IN AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF PUNITIVE MEASURES THAT ONLY ADD TO THE PROBLEM INSTEAD OF RESOLVING IT, CREATING MORE CRIMINALS THAN I INITIALLY TOOK IN. WOE IS ME."

Idek

[naturaldisasster]

The last thing anybody needs is more gas.

Of course he didn’t have nipples. Didn’t he know that? “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re really bad at this reptilian shit,” she grumbled, ignoring anything he had to say about her butt (or anyone else’s), because what would a snake know about asses? He hasn’t got one of those either, although he has got a tail. And, as far as tails go, his is… Passable.

He appears to be struggling with his shed. Oni’s options were to either let nature take its course, or find him a nice, warm bath. Before she can come to a decision, the room? Is screaming at them? For some reason? The words start out sensible enough, but, thanks to the gas, what she eventually hears is ‘I HAVE CREATED THIS MONSTER BEEPBOPBEEPBOPBOOPBEEPBOOPBOPBEEPBEEP’

Here’s hoping that wasn’t important information.

“Alright, buddy. Let’s get you a soak,” she says, putting Deadpool into a full Nelson (so that he doesn’t bite her, obviously) and dragging him… Somewhere. There’s gotta be a tub hiding somewhere on this spaceship and, by god, she’s gonna find it.

[what_fourth_wall]

"NNNoooooooooooooo...muh Pongs...."

"YOUR PONG WAS NOTHING BUT YOUR NIPPLES, FOR I, YOUR MUTHER, HAVE DRUGGED YOU."

"Muh nipples.....I can't find them...."

He doesn't resist as Oni drags him wherever she is going to drag him. How can he? The gas has rendered him a bunch of limp noodles. Or a snake. A snake does make sense, given how wobbly he feels. Maybe this talking sexy ass carrying him solidly between her cheeks is right. He ain't nothin' but a snake with no nipples. But he could've sworn he was playing Pong...

[naturaldisasster]

Now she’s hearing MUTHER in morse code.

“How many times do I have to tell you, you don’t have any… Nipples?” she trails off, less sure than she was a few seconds ago. Where is everybody? The halls were suddenly empty where there should have been throngs of people fornicating like it’s a Jodeci concert in the mid-90’s. Maybe she’s out of practice, but an orgy wouldn’t just disperse like that… Would it?

It’s only a moment later that she realizes the ‘snake’ she’s been wrangling through various rooms is, in fact, a mammal in red and black pajamas. Well, that explained why he wasn’t cold. Ew. She dropped him without the slightest hesitation, like a sack of rotten potatoes.

“Alright, what the hell’s going on here?”

[what_fourth_wall]

"GAH!!"

Deadpool would like to still be hallucinating, but unfortunately his healing factor is on par with Oni's, so he now see's this big beautiful ass for what she truly is, a big beautiful ass.

"What IS going on here? Last thing I knew, I was playing pong and tripping balls with my MUTHER. Now I'm being fireman carried and dropped by a Bodacious Booty!! Do we know each other? Or are you a different Oni?"

[naturaldisasster]

A heavy sigh escapes her.

“I liked you better when I thought you were a snake,” she grumbles. One sign that she recognizes him is her whole hand across his masked face, pushing him out of her personal space. “And could you not fixate on my backside for once, Wilson? I am freaking out.”

Her raised voice reverberated down the cold, empty halls and it’s only at that moment that she realizes how hushed she’s been up until then. Almost as if she’s been holding her breath, waiting for something bad to happen. “I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be talking to you…”

[what_fourth_wall]

"Honestly, I think I'd like me better as a snake too." He shrugs.

Deadpool flails backwards a bit, because there is no such thing as a face shove that isn't awkward, and lands on his own backside. It is not, we'll have you know, as nice as Oni's.

"Why would you freak out? This place is awesome. Very old school sci fi vibe. And why wouldn't you be supposed to talk to me? Is there anyone else to talk to other than my mom?"

"I AM NOT YOUR MOM. I AM YOUR MUTHER."

He whispers to Oni, "She's really pedantic sometimes..."

[naturaldisasster]

She shook her head at his backwards flop and sat herself down, cross-legged, in front of him. “Why would I freak out? Well, for starters, I’m in space, Wade. I’m in space in a tin-fucking-can. How the fuck should I know if my powers even work when I’m not on Earth?”

He didn’t know, because she never told him, about the Society of Leopold or how they experimented on her, turning her into a Trojan horse, albeit temporarily. He couldn’t possibly guess that every single where she looked was a constant and unwelcome reminder of that time and, unfortunately, she was in no mood to tell him.

“I don’t know, cher. The creepy dude in velour was pretty clear that I’m not supposed t’get into it with anyone I might recognize.”

“On the other hand,” she adds, glancing down the empty halls, “You’re right. Who the fuck else am I gonna talk to?” For the time being, she might even be glad of his mouth going a hundred miles per hour, if it distracted her from a darkening tangle of thoughts. In time, she may feel differently.

Finally, she whispered back “Seriously, stop pissing her off.” Oni didn’t feel like another bad acid trip, thank you very much.

[what_fourth_wall]

"Ooooohhhh...yeah, I guess you are new to this whole island hopping thing. It's actually pretty awesome. I mean, think about it, in our last games, we were pretty confined to LA or New York, but now every month is something NEW!! It's a MYSTERY!!! How could you not love being in SPAAAAAAAACCCCCCEEEEEEEEE~?"

The powers not working thing is a pretty good answer to his last question, and he has a good chin rub over it. Well, they could have a good theoretical discussion over what it means to be a shifter of the moon when now there were a bajillion moons, but not one specifically for a space station, ooorrr....

"You could just, yanno, shift and see?" He shrugs. "Or maybe you need the proper motivation. Don't worry, that's what you're long time buddy Deadpool is here for. I can motivate disemboweling without even breaking a sweat." He grabs her ass. Just a whole handful. No consent, just obnoxious asshole that normally gets him eviscerated by her sharp pointy bits. "See?"

Regardless of what happens next, he just keeps talking, because of course. "Creepy dude in velour? Not sure I've met him. But I think by it's nature, velour is always creepy and you should never trust anyone who's wearing it. They're either from the 70s, so questionable fashion sense in general, or they are definitely the type to wear a fedora and tip it. Maybe a velour fedora." He shudders.

[naturaldisasster]

“I weren’t confined to nothin’, Wade,” she grumbles. Boy, if she had a dollar for every time she’s said I don’t know what you’re talking about when he spirals into his delusions of being a comic book character. She just doesn’t bother with it, this go around, because she is new to this whole island-hopping thing. “How long have you been here? Or— I don’t know… How many?”

She opens her mouth, about to argue that she hasn’t tried it because, for one thing, there wasn’t sufficient reason to. Believe it or not, she doesn’t just go changing shapes all Willy-nilly. On the other hand, she’s been stripped of her powers before, thanks, again, to the Society of Leopold. She hasn’t attempted to change yet because she’s afraid of what she’ll find.

Then he goes ahead and derails her train of thought. What a pal. With one hand grabbing the wrist of his offending hand, and the other curling around his tricep, she twists, slamming his face into the floor while bending his elbow in a highly unnatural position.

It’s tempting to break it. She’s pretty sure all his nerve-endings are dead anyhow. Case in point? He’s still talking. “It ain’t my anger that makes me shape-shift, you idiot, it’s Gaia’s and she ain’t here,” she snarls and, after another moment’s punishment (for palming her ass, which he knows is off-limits) she let’s his arm fall limply against his back.

What she’s said is true, but she’s clearly got the brute-strength thing still going for her, so what does that mean? “If I give it a shot,” she grumbles, climbing to her feet, “The least you can do is not watch. Turn around.”

[what_fourth_wall]

"Aren't we all confined to where our friends are? The social prison is the strongest prison of all..."

It's a wistful response, and it's hard to tell if he's serious or just being a smartass. Probably a little of both. It's almost always all of the above with Deadpool.

"Oh I dunno," he says, starting to count on his fingers and murmur his way through a bunch of islands, from zombies on the beach to tommy guns in hand to hot tub hallucinations to carnival craziness to shopping mall zombies...and then several islands that he didn't really pop out as much for. "A bunch. But I hear tell our island hopping vacay is coming to an end soon, which makes me sad. I just found you in a game again! Will you come with me to the next URK!!!"

Contrary to popular believe, he does feel every ounce of pain and then some. Those nerve endings are very much alive, and in peak form due to his regeneration, and since he's always regenerating cancer all over his body, he's in near constant pain. So it isn't that he doesn't feel pain, it's just that it's so constant that he doesn't notice it as much any more, especially if it's from external sources. But it still hurts like a bitch to get blown up, or shot a bunch, or dismembered, or...you know. All the things.

But he doesn't really talk about the pain because he's a funny man and that shit's just tragic. His brand isn't tragic. That only sells if you're Wolvie.

"Sure sure, but I tell you what, if you need a literal space rock just floating around in the sky to change, then honestly....your goddess is a little...you know...weak sauce. Sorry!" And he turns around.