Happy Holidays

[polymods]

✖ THE MALL

Ⅰ. THE REASON FOR THE SEASON
Boy, wasn’t November exciting? How about those Black Friday deals, huh? Hope you’ve had fun camping out in furniture stores! You can of course continue to bunk there, but the High Temple is also open to all Travelers again this month if you’d rather sleep there. Don’t forget to stock up on items that could fit inside your Traveler bag - this is the perfect time to get that fancy moisturizer you’ve been missing, some books, or maybe a copy of the hot new video game Bonestorm!

As December rolls in, you’ll notice that there’s even MORE holiday cheer to be found! Pressing in on all sides of you! Suffocating you! Or maybe you’re one of those people who just lives for carols and huge plastic evergreens decked out in tinsel and lights, in which case you’re going to be thrilled!

There are indeed plenty of those aforementioned trees throughout the mall, alongside wire and light reindeer, glowing stars, and oversized novelty gift boxes. If you have keen eyes you’ll notice that hidden throughout the mall are dozens of small, creepy elves with dead vacant eyes. They don’t do anything. They just… watch.

Who on earth could they be reporting to?

---

Ⅱ. HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU’RE SLEEPING
At the center of the mall concourse there is now a miniature village set up, themed entirely in ice and snow and candy. At the center of this plastic paradise is a lavishly decorated chair, and in front of it a camera. At times marked clearly on a schedule at the village gate you can wait in line behind a red velvet rope for your turn to see him.

Who? Well. That depends.

In many worlds, there is a benevolent figure who appears in December, bearing gifts for all the good children. Santa is the most likely person you’ll find sitting on that big chair, ho-ho-hoing and looking as kind and jolly as any creature possibly could.

Maybe you’re from somewhere without a Santa Claus, but with some other equivalent. In that case, you might see what you’re familiar with instead!

Regardless of his exact form, the figure who beckons you to sit beside him has only one concern: have you been nice?

Niceness is subjective, but if you’ve managed it you will be rewarded. With a twinkle in his eye, the Non-Denominational Mall Figure will reach into his magic bag and pull out a gift, JUST for you! What could it be?!

Oh, and don’t forget to smile for the photo! You may pick it up in half an hour once it is developed.

But if you’ve been naughty, or if you sneak over to that chair during the OFF hours? In that case there will be a cracking noise and the sudden overwhelming scent of rank goat.

“Better luck next year,” the Non-Denominational Mall Figure says sadly, his eyes trained on something over your shoulder. Turn your head and you’ll see that your naughtiness has attracted another holiday staple: Krampus.

Yes, this hairy, horned devil carries chains and bitch rods, the latter of which he uses to whip the everloving shit out of you if he catches you. You’ll have to outrun him long enough that he gets bored, or find some other way to distract him or pay him off. Maybe there’s a German market set up in the mall somewhere where you could get Krampus to do a Smorgasvein with you?

Notes:
1. This month if your character has been nice, they may receive ONE special item! They may only receive this gift once - multiple attempts to see the Non-Denominational Mall Figure will result in Krampus appearing instead.

The special item you may pick for your character can be one of the following:

- one animal companion. This animal can travel with your character from island to island from now on. The only stipulation is that it must be able to fit comfortably on the ferryboat. If your animal is too large, your character can instead get a mini version!

- one carriable item from your character’s homeland. In the case of weapons, this must be something that is not game breaking in terms of power level. (ie: yes, you can get a gun, no you can’t get a gun that explodes the sun.)

- a collection of holiday candies, all of which have magical healing properties.

2. You determine if your character’s actions put them on the Naughty or Nice list

---

Ⅲ. WINTER WONDERLAND
As you wander through the mall you will notice that amongst all the holiday decorations a large area on the first floor that was closed last month is now lit up and has a welcome sign standing outside. Whatever could it be?

Perhaps a bigger and better Orange Julius?

No silly! It's an indoor ice skating rink. And as if that isn't cool enough - get it? Cool? - it would seem that for the whole month skate rentals are free. So go on, slap on a pair of skates and take a whirl around the ice rink! Show everyone your fancy moves or just try not to fall on your ass.

Don't feel like skating? That's okay, there are dorky performances happening at noon and 5pm where a group of people dressed up as holiday creatures will skate around in formation and do tricks.

If you’re more mature, at 8pm there's a live jazz band that will play music for the skaters.

There’s plenty of beverages and foods to be sampled from the holiday kiosks that have popped up close to the rink.

Notes:
1. This is a public ice rink so you will have to share space with people, so if you plan on throwing out a triple lutz or whatever then you might want to make sure you don't hit or slice into anyone with your skates.

---

Ⅳ. ALL I WANT IS YOU
Cheerful generic holiday music fills the hall as the Christmas celebration hits full swing with a slightly panicked glee. The same rotation of a dozen different carols cycles through, one after the other, hour after hour. There are only a few refuges from the mind numbing music through the mall - that one New Age import shop that hasn’t changed its world music CD in a decade, and Spicy Subject which only plays pop punk covers of carols. Even the bathrooms aren’t safe from that rise and fall of notes that let you know a certain diva is going to tell you that you’re all she wants for Christmas.

Just as the hundredth iteration of the song is about to drive you mad, there’s a tremendous crash. A twenty foot tall Christmas tree that had once been suspended in the middle of the food court has crushed the Pizza Corner and taken out the power source for half the Mall’s sound system in one go. A caped figure escapes along the rafters that once supported the tree in a cloud of heavy fragrance. He pauses only once to bow as banner unfurls. Crude letters have been painted over a previous black Friday announcement: You have been warned: The Phantom!

The crowd begins to murmur and huddle in groups, and if you get nosy there are plenty of rumors. A teen from one of the ear piercing boutiques mentions a ghost story about a Luxuriate employee who got in a terrible accident while mixing bath bombs on site that rendered him permanently aromatic and with a permanent splitting headache that would have killed a lesser person. An older man from the Hotdog Hut pipes up that he disappeared into the labyrinth of hidden hallways that allow employees to navigate the mall for restocking and avoiding the overly aggressive salespeople. Every year the Phantom emerges in an attempt to banish the sky high notes of that ever popular Christmas carol, and every year the people who run the mall put it back in rotation.

Even after the incident with the choir.

A mother with two small children who are more puffy coat than person hushes the hotdog seller. It’s all nonsense of course. Some kind of interactive theater to drive up sales before the holidays. The looks that pass between the other employees, and the signs that the poor twenty-something postgrad working at Pizza Corner might have been crushed say otherwise.

So does the pungent waft of multifloral scent that starts to stalk you through the mall. Apparently, someone’s formed a crush, or are you giving him a terrible headache? What is it about you that you do better than anyone that might be appreciated by this deeply eccentric murder? Or what makes you the most annoying? Either way, it might be good to keep your hand at the level of your eyes because you’re about to be whisked away to the depths of the Mall into the Phantom’s lair.

Notes:
1. The Phantom is now more archetype than human. Killing him will probably not solve the issue, but it will make you smell like you’ve been eating bath bombs and drinking essential oils until New Year. Which could be fun.

2. Alternatively, if you agree with him about the music, you can always agree to team up to take out the rest of the sound system.

3. The Phantom has an excellent tenor voice. Just, you know, in case you were wondering.

Come on Jessica, come on Tori! Let's go to the mall, you won't be sorry!

Network · Logs · OOC · Memes · Plurk

Comments

anders | dragon age | ota

[mewnifestos]

i. the reason for the season (is setting things on fire) [closed to Sephiroth]

[ There aren't a great many places in a mall, Anders has learned over the course of the past few weeks, to give a proper lecture on the properties and principles of magic. (Even as half-assed a one as he could bear to come up with, given how many lessons he personally slept or passed notes or simply endeavored to distract the instructor through.)

But the backroom of a small clothing shop is the latest staging area Anders has claimed for their efforts, and he's almost happy with it, for a change. (Or maybe he's just proud of himself for finding such an out of the way place they definitely aren't meant to be, but either way.) They're unlikely to be interrupted, as empty and quiet as the store was, and the constant, cheery music is almost entirely blocked out, with the door shut. Not to mention, his favorite part— ]

Targets! [ Gesturing to the row of mannequins (not the possessed, stalkery kind this month, thankfully) he's pushed into a loose arrangement, Anders grins. ] If you can't cast without proper motivation, that still doesn't necessarily mean you can't cast at all. So let's try an activity that's a little more focused, this time, what do you say?

ii. he sees you when you're sleeping

[ Later in the month, with all that raucous good cheer in full swing, Anders is back to idly perusing all the mysterious, technological wares he doesn't remotely understand - and probably promptly breaking anything he tries out (but you don't have to buy it if no one catches you, right?). He might be looking at fancy cookware, or televisions, or tablets and computers, videogames - or any other bit of futuristic nonsense. Regardless of what it is, he's having one side of a cheerful conversation while he does. ]

Oh, what do you think that's for?

[ Bystanders might be forgiven for assuming he's speaking to them (as he often does, apropos of nothing), but for once that isn't the case. No, it's the wiggling lump that immediately comes to life beneath his jacket that he's addressing, and it answers with a loud meow before a little orange-yellow tabby cat pokes its head out from his collar, just beneath his chin. ]

iii. winter wonderland

[ Strapping blades to your feet and flinging yourself around on a solid sheet of ice?? Clearly a safe and wholesome pastime, and not one Anders is extremely motivated to try purely for the thrill of it. He's never had a chance to, before, though, so he's roping the nearest familiar (or not-so-familiar!) face into buddying up. What better way to not fall flat on your face, right?

Though he might do that, anyway, in his haste to tie his laces and awkwardly plod his way to the rink. At least his balance is good, as he casts an impatient look back over his shoulder. ] Hurry up! The ice will be melted by the time you catch up.

i. heck yeah arson time

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth is unused to failure. Even they've only had a few haphazard lessons, that would have been enough, at most other endeavors, for him to begin grasping it. To learn something slowly--or perhaps not to learn it at all--is something that was drilled into him from a young age as unacceptable.

So it's difficult for him not to be frustrated, even as he tells himself that this was a long shot to begin with. An experiment with a narrow chance of success. The thing is, he wants to succeed. It's what he does. He is meant to be exceptional.

The Masamune is, currently, stabbed into the floor near the closed door, leaving his hands free. Better to distance himself from the muscle memory of thumbing the materia in the hilt, he thought. He's not sure it's made any difference.

At least it's quiet in here, if nothing else.]

...am I meant to imagine them as people I dislike?

[mewnifestos]

Unless you're particularly drawn to setting fire to those you do like?

[ Always a possibility. But it's clearly one offered only in the interest of agreeing with the obvious. ]

Most of us tend to first discover our magic in a moment of, let's say, heightened emotion. And other people tend to bring that response out the best, in my experience.

Look! We can even dress them up, if you want. There's plenty of clothing just lying around back here. [ You know, neatly folded and otherwise organized - but who's going to notice if they rearrange a few things? ]

[unkindled_madness]

Hard to say.

[Not a lot of people he likes.

But, heightened emotion... It's not the sort of thing he typically embraces. It's counterproductive to thinking and working effectively. Then again, he hasn't really been successful at thinking his way through this. If being angry would help... there is definitely someone who inspires that very easily.

He approaches the shelves of clothing.]

...it does seem somewhat unsporting to attack a nude enemy.

[mewnifestos]

Speaking strictly from experience, I'd tend to agree.

[ And strictly as the attacked party, of course. But that probably goes without saying.

Digging into one of those neatly folded stacks of clothes, Anders starts to pick through the little shop's offerings. (It's almost immediately obvious why the place isn't doing much business, as he casts aside a couple of lumpy, clashing articles of clothing.) ]

So, what are we looking for?

[unkindled_madness]

Caught unawares? [Sephiroth wasn't speaking from experience-- from either side of the situation.

He hesitates before answering Anders' question. He's not sure the man would know what a lab coat is, nor does he really want to be that specific. This little shop wouldn't have such things anyway.]

...a long, white coat.

[mewnifestos]

Oh, I was very awares. Just... not of the Templars raiding the brothel where I was hiding.

[ At least in the in-plain-sight sense of the word. Look, when you know getting caught is practically inevitable, sometimes you just want to spend your precious free time having a bit of fun.

Anders hmms and digs a little deeper into his shelf, but offers no telling response to that request. At least until he spots something promising, pulling a long white sleeve out of the mess he's making. ]

Well, it's not very long, and a bit light for a coat, but— Uh, wait, nevermind. [ It's not white, either. As he pulls it free, the cow print pattern is more obvious. ]

[unkindled_madness]

Hm. Perhaps not as ideal a hiding place as you'd hoped.

[He glances over as Anders seems to have found something- or not. No, the cow print definitely won't do.]

...something lightweight would be best, though.

[He's managed to find a few shirts, and that may have to do. He doesn't want to spend a great deal of time on this.]

[mewnifestos]

Not for the hiding, no. But I wasn't disappointed, otherwise.

[ The only real disappointment was that a charming pirate captain wasn't able to whisk him away from all his troubles in time. Ah, well. Some things are simply too good to ever come true.

Anders shrugs, tossing his ill-fated find back onto the shelf. ]

Anything else? Pants? A funny hat?

II.

[neverwither]

( Ready to help Anders parse the world of futuristic nonsense, Chloe is swiftly distracted by the second furry head beneath his chin. )

The cat liberation effort continues, I see.

( It's whispered with a hint of drama. Though after the pet store on Carcosa, she does wonder if Anders may have just freed himself a cat from somewhere or found one and walked off with them. The cat doesn't seem to mind (nor does any form of security seem to be swarming). )

They seem very cosy in there.

[mewnifestos]

What? [ Anders glances over at her, as the cat wiggles up enough to free its front legs, sniffing at the air. ] Oh! No, I didn't borrow him.

[ He turns to her, gesturing grandly to the orange cat sharing his new jacket with him. ]

This is Ser Pounce-a-Lot! A very brave warrior and one of my best friends.

[neverwither]

( Chloe bows her head to the cat - she is in the presence of a Sir. ) Delighted to meet you, Ser Pounce-a-Lot.

( She assumes Anders won't mind her being so bold as to pet his friend, and said friend seems curious enough, so she gives the cat a rub under the chin. )

Best friends already? Not that I can blame either of you, of course. You're lucky to have found each other.

[mewnifestos]

[ Pounce leans into the chin rubs happily, only wiggling away to work his way up out of Anders' collar and onto his shoulders. ]

Oh, no, we've known each other a while! The Commander found him wandering around Vigil's Keep in the rain one evening, and brought him to me as a gift. That big man on the frilly throne just gave him back to me. I think he called himself Santa.

[neverwither]

He’s from your world? And he was just gifted to you?

( Without any sort of mystical quest or test is what she means. It raises all sorts of questions and possibilities. Chloe herself has given Santa a wide berth. If he’s able to pull those sorts of tricks out of his sack, she might consider going near him. )

Santa, yes. Children believe he brings them gifts at Christmas - a winter holiday.

[mewnifestos]

That's right.

[ Look, he's just as shocked, himself. He wasn't expecting much from that whole spectacle (Santa is as unfamiliar to him as Christmas, though at least it shares a few familiar trappings with holidays he does know). He shrugs as Pounce settles, flopping down against the back of his neck and returning to regarding Chloe curiously. ]

He asked if I'd been nice, and of course I said yes. His fault for believing it, huh?

[neverwither]

( The look on Chloe's face at the relationship between man and cat can only be described as heart eyes. Ser Pounce is adorable, and the android studies him with just as much interest. )

You are nice, Anders. ( So there. ) I suppose it could stand to reason that gifts have been earned, all things considered. The Ancient's heart might have grown three sizes.

[mewnifestos]

Only when the other option isn't being naughty. [ So there.

He does appreciate being set up for the joke he was clearly working up to, though, so thanks, Chloe. Always reliable. ]

Eugh. No wonder they need a healer around. [ Once again, you lot and your pop culture references, just going right over his head. ]

iii

[detectivemiracle]

That's not generally how skating rinks work.

[ Chloe is laughing, though - and a bit more comfortable on the ice skates than he appears to be, though she's far from an expert, herself. ]

We'll stick closer to the outside - the showoffs tend to go further in to practice their fancy moves.

[mewnifestos]

But what if I want to show off? Who knows, I might be a natural.

[ He's assuming he's an expert until proven otherwise, personally. Though he isn't going to make a beeline for the center of the rink right away, content to follow her lead for the moment. ]

[detectivemiracle]

I'm certainly not going to stop you, if you're determined.

[ She nods in the direction of someone doing some kind of complicated spin. ]

You just gotta watch out for other people, if it's getting crowded.

[mewnifestos]

Eh, maybe I'll start with something simpler than that...

[ There's just, like, a few too many spins in there. ]

I'm not planning on running into anyone, if I can help it, though. Who do you think will have to take care of all the clean up, if we all end up on our asses with blades strapped to our feet?

[ The healer will, obviously. ]

[detectivemiracle]

Yeah, you do have to watch where you put those blades.

[ She has to laugh a little, though. ]

I mean, you can, like, throw fireballs, so you're one to talk.

[mewnifestos]

I don't throw my fireballs around all willy-nilly, you know.

[ And he is deeply offended by the implication that there could be any comparison there. Really, terribly. ]

I have much better control of my magic than these shoes.

[detectivemiracle]

And were you born with that control? Or did you have to learn it?

[ She's genuinely asking - she has no idea how that sort of thing works in his world. She can't imagine Lucifer, for example, needing to learn how to control his mojo. ]

[mewnifestos]

I had to learn, of course. You don't think I also sprang fully formed from my mother's womb as I stand before you now, do you?

[ It may be an earnest question, but it also feels to Anders like a profoundly silly one - and is therefore worthy of just a bit of teasing. ]