[ Nate takes a breath this time, feeling impossibly stupid when he admits: ]
I was afraid of losing you.
[ He knows he deserves whatever mirth he's got coming his way, and he'd be lucky that Elena sticks around here for as long as she has before it's all over. And then what? What'll he do?
(Christ, he doesn't even want to consider what he might or might not do.)
He feels the panic shudder cold in his veins, and he swallows it down even when his expression probably reveals at least some part of the anguish he's currently feeling. It's his fault, and he knows it, and that's what makes this whole goddamned thing even worse. ]
I knew doing this — if I'd told you I was going back to that life, I would lose you. [ Eventually the words tumble out of his mouth, unwarranted, triggered by the adrenaline of his own fear. ] I wasn't protecting you, I was — I was protecting myself.
no subject
I was afraid of losing you.
[ He knows he deserves whatever mirth he's got coming his way, and he'd be lucky that Elena sticks around here for as long as she has before it's all over. And then what? What'll he do?
(Christ, he doesn't even want to consider what he might or might not do.)
He feels the panic shudder cold in his veins, and he swallows it down even when his expression probably reveals at least some part of the anguish he's currently feeling. It's his fault, and he knows it, and that's what makes this whole goddamned thing even worse. ]
I knew doing this — if I'd told you I was going back to that life, I would lose you. [ Eventually the words tumble out of his mouth, unwarranted, triggered by the adrenaline of his own fear. ] I wasn't protecting you, I was — I was protecting myself.