The reminder is probably unintentional, but their exchange on the day of their first marriage, the day she'd killed him, echoes back at River. I don't want to marry you. I don't want to murder you.
But isn't that how she'd so often felt? Like a child, trying to live up to the Doctor's expectations of her, eager for his attention and approval. Even now, part of her wants the Doctor to see her, to love her, despite the fact she's been damaged. She's hurt and she's angry. He'd left her behind. And still, River gravitates to her like she's the sun.
Tears well in River's eyes as she nods, and she takes a breath to keep herself from crying. She learned long ago how not to cry, and she'll be damned if she starts crying now, even if it's well-earned. Her voice is nearly steady when she speaks again, "I still love you. You know that?"
A lone tear has managed to escape her tight rein, fortunately on the open side of the mask, and she roughly swipes it away, annoyed. "And you were selfish."
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But isn't that how she'd so often felt? Like a child, trying to live up to the Doctor's expectations of her, eager for his attention and approval. Even now, part of her wants the Doctor to see her, to love her, despite the fact she's been damaged. She's hurt and she's angry. He'd left her behind. And still, River gravitates to her like she's the sun.
Tears well in River's eyes as she nods, and she takes a breath to keep herself from crying. She learned long ago how not to cry, and she'll be damned if she starts crying now, even if it's well-earned. Her voice is nearly steady when she speaks again, "I still love you. You know that?"
A lone tear has managed to escape her tight rein, fortunately on the open side of the mask, and she roughly swipes it away, annoyed. "And you were selfish."