For how much of her childhood was devoted to trying to join the Cohort, Gideon hadn't reflected on what it would mean. The war had been a far off thing, some fixed point in existence. The Nine Houses had been at war possibly the whole myriad. The details... fighting and killing an actual person, even a horrible shitty person, is vastly different. Different than fighting bone constructs and resurrection beast heralds. It's someone exploding into pink mist, not so much as a bone shard intact. It's someone exploding like a grenade went off in their chest with bones and blood and other parts of anatomy lessons spewed everywhere. It bears no resemblance to the simplicity of wielding a sword.

"I doubt much of anything is as simple and straightforward as being challenged to a duel," Gideon says. She sighs. "Even when it is, there's always afterward. People have opinions on dead bodies. And ramifications. And people being idiots about it. Unless you're the one who dies, you get to walk right into that."