Leave it to these two to be the ones caught up in a testament to pointless consumerism.

Jean-Paul, however, is still in control of his faculties, although only because he'd managed to miss most of the initial rush simply by virtue of already being in the designer menswear section, thoughtfully comparing trousers with the pickiness of someone used to having a personal tailor.

When he hears the rumble of the crowd and then the horrifying scream of metal. He zips out from the change room and stares at the sudden chaos.

"Quire?!" he shouts. "D'fuck are you doing?!"