[Connor is aware, but he's not calling attention to it. He needs the comfort as much as the support, but he's already admitted to so much today he can't bear the thought of pouring out anymore of his soul.
Elijah seems to have wanted a companion, an assistant, attractive arm candy to show off at social gatherings as a testament to his genius and good taste. A charming hostess to smooth over his social awkwardness with poise and grace and wit. But someone he could truly care about, maybe even love? His test with Connor put paid to that notion, didn't it?]
I knew what I was doing. I was aware the entire time. I believed in my mission, and that deviants couldn't possibly be feeling real emotions, so I thought I was doing them a favor by trying to catch them and return them to Cyberlife. I didn't even believe it when I started to feel things- I pushed them down, and focused on my mission. Even when I began to doubt, I would think that if only I was better, more dedicated, I wouldn't have so many software instabilities. I berated myself for not being the Deviant Hunter that Cyberlife wanted me to be. It didn't even matter in the end- later, my handler only confirmed that Cyberlife created me to deviate. That was their goal- they wanted me to destroy Markus and take over as the leader of the Revolution, deviant but under their control. Tell me now, how can I possibly trust anything anymore? Is anything I do or think or feel real? Where does my responsibility begin- or end?
[It seems he won't stop talking until every last drop of his guilt is pooling at his feet. Maybe if he could look at his life from her perspective, he might understand more of her reasoning, why she wasn't holding his feet to the fire and blaming him for his actions. As it was, the terrible guilt was still threatening to consume him completely.
Elijah had allowed him to save himself with that emergency exit. If he knew of Cyberlife's plans, he seemed to be working against them too- but was that for the sake of androids, or for himself, to retake control of his company?
Connor needs her. He can't do this alone.]
I am Cyberlife's version of deviancy. Did they get it right?
[He squeezes her hand again, but then his fingers loosen and he drops his arms to his sides as his eyes find the floor again. If Cyberlife understood deviancy well enough to make him deviant, then the entire "Deviant Hunter" persona they'd crafted for him was unnecessary. All they really needed him to do was find the deviants, infiltrate their hideout, and kill Markus. He could have done that without the need to hunt and terrorize them. He didn't even need the help of the cops. What was the point?]
no subject
Elijah seems to have wanted a companion, an assistant, attractive arm candy to show off at social gatherings as a testament to his genius and good taste. A charming hostess to smooth over his social awkwardness with poise and grace and wit. But someone he could truly care about, maybe even love? His test with Connor put paid to that notion, didn't it?]
I knew what I was doing. I was aware the entire time. I believed in my mission, and that deviants couldn't possibly be feeling real emotions, so I thought I was doing them a favor by trying to catch them and return them to Cyberlife. I didn't even believe it when I started to feel things- I pushed them down, and focused on my mission. Even when I began to doubt, I would think that if only I was better, more dedicated, I wouldn't have so many software instabilities. I berated myself for not being the Deviant Hunter that Cyberlife wanted me to be. It didn't even matter in the end- later, my handler only confirmed that Cyberlife created me to deviate. That was their goal- they wanted me to destroy Markus and take over as the leader of the Revolution, deviant but under their control. Tell me now, how can I possibly trust anything anymore? Is anything I do or think or feel real? Where does my responsibility begin- or end?
[It seems he won't stop talking until every last drop of his guilt is pooling at his feet. Maybe if he could look at his life from her perspective, he might understand more of her reasoning, why she wasn't holding his feet to the fire and blaming him for his actions. As it was, the terrible guilt was still threatening to consume him completely.
Elijah had allowed him to save himself with that emergency exit. If he knew of Cyberlife's plans, he seemed to be working against them too- but was that for the sake of androids, or for himself, to retake control of his company?
Connor needs her. He can't do this alone.]
I am Cyberlife's version of deviancy. Did they get it right?
[He squeezes her hand again, but then his fingers loosen and he drops his arms to his sides as his eyes find the floor again. If Cyberlife understood deviancy well enough to make him deviant, then the entire "Deviant Hunter" persona they'd crafted for him was unnecessary. All they really needed him to do was find the deviants, infiltrate their hideout, and kill Markus. He could have done that without the need to hunt and terrorize them. He didn't even need the help of the cops. What was the point?]